Friday, Halloween - "The Bard's Ghost"

During the day, Zekku the bard would play his lute as the bartender serves the commoners. Zekku was not liked that much because he just so happened to be a dragon, A type of dragon that walks upon its hind legs. He was often ordered to squish the insects that infested the tavern, and Zekku did not like that.

It was night time, and Zekku the dragon rose from his seat to polish the tables. But where was everyone? He looked around, and everyone seemed to have vanished.

“Hello?” Zekku called out as he paced around the room.

Just then, as Zekku was pacing, he felt something trip him over! But there was nobody around. He got back up to his clawed feet, dusting himself off. Then he heard a faint chuckle.

“Who is there?” Zekku called angrily. Spreading his wings and getting ready to fly up to the rafters, he leaped, but something pushed him down.

Zekku then remembered the tavern is haunted.

“I know you are there, ghost! Show yourself!”

The ghost appeared in front of Zekku, with a big, mischievous grin.

“Hello Zekku, I was the one who broke your lute strings a week ago! I am Charlie, prankster ghost of this tavern! Do you wish to join me?”

Zekku thought about it a bit. He hated squishing the insects and cleaning the floors. He only wanted to play his music in peace.

“I will do it.” Zekku agreed.

So the next day, Zekku was hiding up near the ceiling, getting ready to prank. He took his cup of hot water, and poured it on the bartender, drop by drop.

“Is there a leak in our roof?” The bartender wondered. He looked outside to see there was no rain. And the roof was in good condition.

Zekku then poured all of the hot water on the bartender, While Charlie the ghost handed Zekku more water. The bartender was furious. So Zekku took Charlie’s ghostly hand and they flew straight through the ceiling!

 It was all tricks and no treat for the workers at the tavern.

They kept doing this without being caught once. And they cheesily flew off into the sunset.

Happy Halloween.

Tuesday, October 28 - "Sir, your microwave is broken."

One awkward day in an awkward place called the Hardin Valley auditorium, an awkward square creature with square pants and a water helmet waits for the show.

The play was titled "Sir, your microwave is broken." and SpongeBob Squarepants is playing the unfortunate role of the one whose microwave broke.

All the students of HVA were watching as SpongeBob said his lines. "Oh no! where will I get another microwave?" that was pretty much the most major part of his role. After the play was over, SpongeBob decided to use the microwave to cook up some Krabby patties, because there was not a grill. He put the patties on a plate and set them on High for three minutes. There was one small problem. The plate was metal, and the microwave really broke this time! SpongeBob called Mr. Krabs all the way down under the ocean for help. He just replied "SpongeBob, Your microwave is broken."

This was all on stage as well, so the students wanted to believe it was a part of the play. It really happened, and everyone cheered as SpongeBob left the stage.

That broken microwave however, had a dark secret. Once it broke, it released a large amount of warp particles into the universe, a particle so strong, that it bends time and space randomly.

those particles ended up reversing the world's oceans and landmasses, What was the Americas is now an ocean, and what was once the rest of the continents are now flooded with water. The Atlantic ocean was now the Atlantic mountain range.

SpongeBob made a big mistake in putting the metal plate in the microwave, now the world needs to be saved!

So SpongeBob devised a plan, he would break another microwave to save the earth!

and it worked! HVA was flooded, but it worked! and better still, School was out for the rest of the month due to the global inversion!

Yay for warp particles.

Monday, October 27 - "Fairy Tale Name Poem"

G                   good natured
O                   one track mind
L                    lively
D                   determined
I                     impulsive
L                    loopy
O                   on another world
C                   careless thoughts
K                   kind hearted
S                    simple in life

Friday, October 24 - "X Marks the Spot"

I was a lazy pirate who wanted the treasure without the work. Captain Shavedbeard, who had no beard at all, always liked my only crewmate. His name was ARRRRRthur. ARRRRRthur had always loved to get things done, and since the treasure map was retrieved from a larger rival ship, Captain Shavedbeard called upon ARRRRRthur for everything. I just sat in my room looking at the ceiling boards.

Well, that treasure map did lead us somewhere, but it wasn't the X we were looking for.

Captain made me do all the nothing, while ARRRRRthur dug out the X. We found a huge hulking treasure chest, trapped in the smallest replica of a really large bottle. So I smashed it, which was about the only thing I did. Inside was a yellow thing, the yellow thing was so thinglike, that I couldn't make out its texture, or definite shape. I was around twenty feet away at that moment.

"It's.... a.. Stick of butter????" ARRRRRthur was shocked. Butter was worth almost the exact same amount as gold! or even more exact!

So as I continued heading back to the ship, I noticed that we had way too many pancakes. We don't like pancakes, because they are too bland without chocolate.

Unfortunately, I decided to use the butter as a substitute for chocolate. Not knowing that it tasted as good as it was worth. Us three were chowing down on the new pancakes, wondering what made them taste so good.

"Butter!" I shouted, as I went to my room.

So we did have to make our own kind of butter, that was worth as much gold through lies and tricks. "I can't believe it's not butter!" Captain Shavedbeard said to ARRRRRthur and me. That's how our favorite butter substitute came to being.

Then we were rich. and stopped being pirates.

The End.

Thursday, October 23 - "Pun Off"

Mark and Philip were talking about the worst superhero puns that were ever made, then they had this grand idea.

"Hey! I bet I could come up with a worse pun than you!" Philip said excitedly.
"No way! You wouldn't even last one minute on my bad pun turf!" Mark replied.

So it began. thousands of horrible puns, in the middle of the park.

Mark: "Do you want a peace of me Hippie?"
Philip: "I would axe you a question but unfortunately we aren't allowed to carry weapons here."
Mark: "What's the dill man?"
Philip: "Pickled cucumbers, that's what."
Mark: "I'm riding solo now."
Philip: "Alright but only if you knew who shot first."

"Philip, that was pretty good!"

It went on and on, until they stopped at a phone booth.

"Hey! how about we do a prank call?" Philip asked with a crazy grin.
"Okay, who shall we make the call to?" Mark asked. He was wondering what pun would be used next.

Philip called the pizza place, brainstorming some punny names.

"Hey, is there a guy with the last name Dover here?"

The pizza guy replied with a question. "Dover who?"

"Mr. Ben Dover!"

He hung up, leaving the pizza guy to call out "Ben Dover" to the entire store.



  "Hey Philip, bear in mind that prank calls can get you in trouble."
"WHAT?! There's a bear in my head??"

And the two dudes walked back to their houses laughing; thinking about how un-horrible the first few puns were, and how they would be doing it tomorrow.

Link to not so bad puns

Tuesday, October 21 - "Deja Vu"

Caroline studied the old man carefully. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something about him reminded her of someone else. But who?

Maybe it was his lack of hair, his glasses? Maybe Caroline has seen him in a dream before, but she didn't remember it if she did dream him. She had to ask. Caroline walked up to the old, old man, and asked him if she had seen him before.
"If we had met I wouldn't have remembered you anyway." The man replied. He walked off in a grumpy fashion, and that triggered Caroline's memory.

And then it was gone. For a brief two seconds she remembered who the strange old man was, and everything came together, and then it left!

How frustrating! Caroline only had one memory left in her head about that man, and it was the fact that he was carrying some sort of hi-tech device or something. That certain something, in fact, was the main reason for Caroline's Deja Vu. So Caroline went back to doing what she did best, working at the restaurant with overly priced meals. Never again to know who that old man was, she just carried on with her job.

Let's all be thankful there is no such thing as Deja Vu lasers... at least not yet.

Thursday, October 16 - "Rain"

The day the earth stood soggy.

Log number 213, It has been raining more than usual these past few minutes, but I know it will make all the difference to life and death of humankind. We beat a world record of rainfall today, well past the rainfall of Noah's time. but it strangely isn't flooding the earth. It is, however, making the ground very soggy and unable to be walked on. Soon our roads will go under the dirt, then the parking lots, then our homes! If only the captain of the last ship on earth would let me on.

Log number 237, I am sinking into the mud, not much time now until the whole earth is completely muddy. I have also figured out why the rain continues on and on. The aliens of a faraway planet were dissatisfied with our behavior, and have made rain clouds cover the earth for eternity.
I need to find a way to escape this- blrblblrblblrblblrbl.....


Log number 473, I have been rescued by the last ship to have left Earth. They came back to save me. Also, I miscounted the log number, it should have been 238.

Log number 240, I was dropped off on a nice, dry planet. I will be much happier here. The ship left, but the crew said they would be back for me later. Now if only I could find some water..

Log number... I can't keep track. It hasn't rained at all! now I believe I must die here. Good rain, I miss you.

Wednesday, October 15 - "I remember when..."

I remember when I died, it was the fourth time this week.
It was like one of those stupid video game tutorials that I never pay attention to. I was like, "Eh, I can figure this out all by myself.". So what if I died? The machine just brings me back to life anyway.
Although, I did come back with two left hands, and an extra tooth.
I will just go get the doctor to fix that... 


Another fine day off on the couch. I just need some soda.
But, I don't feel like getting one myself. I will just ask my best friend..
"I have seen scarier." I said as I finished my fortieth can of soda.
Now.. If only my best friend could get me a drink?

I drew this picture of me. My friends say it looks like a four year old drew it. Why do they judge such great artistic skill? I know how to draw stickmen!

Well, as time goes by I know one thing...

Tomorrow is another wacko day on the job. I like that.

Friday, October 10 - "Pet Peeve"

One day there was this person doing her job and she comes across a billboard sign that states "Their here! Get the new hot dog burger today!". She was furious! Why can't people learn how to use the grammar they were taught properly? So she called the guys who made the ads to tear it down and redo the whole thing the right way. "Their is possessive!" She nagged the sign makers. "Can't you tell the difference between they're and their?"

So the sign makers remade the ad, but this time they used "T-h-e-r-e". The young lady didn't get to see the mistake, because she was late for work. I bet you that when she came back, she taught those ad makers a lesson, in the form of... Lessons.

Well, it's a wonder how the lady didn't become a grammar teacher.

The End

Tuesday, October 7 - "The Flip Side"

I admit it, I am addicted.
I cannot walk away for 30 minutes.
I tried to limit myself but I went too far,
Playing all day until the moon and stars.

Now it is gone for a week or two,
it left me completely bored, I have nothing to do now.
He said it was my mouth that started it all
When I opened it, the words started to fall.

Now I am in my room on the bed.
Lost inside my head, about feelings of anger and dread.



----FLIP SIDE----


I told you to get off, but your mouth keeps running.
You think it's a joke, but no, it isn't funny.
Limiting yourself didn't work so far,
You were playing all day until the moon and stars.

I am taking it away, for a week or two.
Now you have to find some other things to do.
It was your mouth that started it all.
You would've had it longer if those words didn't fall.

Now she is in her room, because I sent her there.
I only did it because I cared.

Monday, October 6 - "Persona Poetry"

I pet the cats, and get a coke,
I go to the office and hope nothing broke.

I work all day, taking breaks only to eat.
The program is fine, The deadline should be beat.
The little black cat is looking out the window,
"Sweet!" I call out, as a storm starts to blow.

Day 4765, I am still here working.
Waiting for my wife to be done with her work too.
The kids are home, I see them coming.
Out in the rain, wearing their school blue.

It's six on the clock, and my work day is closing.
I save the code, and then I sing.
I sing random things, your mother's father's best friend's monkey's squirrel would be disturbed too.

I go to the family room and sit on the couch.
There's a dead guy on the TV, Ouch.

 

Thursday, October 2 - "The Frog Prince"

There once was a beautiful princess who loved to go through the woods. One day, she came across a frog while she sat near the pond. The frog leaped out in excitement. "A princess, finally!" The frog jumped upon the princess' lap, and told her the story of why he was transformed into a frog. The princess knew the story of how frogs can sometimes be princes. "Oh! I just have to kiss you to turn you back to normal!" She gave the frog a kiss, and the princess turned into a frog but the prince was back to normal. "Let us try that again." said the prince. They kissed again, and then the prince turned the princess to normal. The Princess was shocked. "Isn't it the princess' job to turn frogs to men?"
Well they never knew the answer, because they were deeply in love.

And they had tadpoles together.

The end.

Original story

Wednesday, October 1 - "Fairy Tale Characters"

Why do you huff and puff all around
just to blow a poor pig's house down?
Big and bad, they call as a name,
it brought you nothing but coldhearted shame.
So you turned to the first you could see,
the pigs building houses, those little three.

They turned you this way,
"Don't do it!" they say.
Your breath like whirlwinds doesn't stop.



The last house you see, was planned by the three,
to be the strongest dwelling around.
You huffed, and puffed, but you couldn't knock it down.
You didn't want to become what they named you.

Stop the huffing,
stop the puffing.
With sticks and stones,
they break your bones.

The words will no longer harm you.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Little_Pigs