Tuesday, December 9 - "Persona Poetry, ROUND 2!"

A, b, c, d, e, f, g.
Joker is my enemy.
Stick a bat-gun up his nose,
Pull the trigger... Where'd he go?
Oh well then. I will try again,
I'll catch him someday, but I have no friends.
Who is there? is this some kind of joke?
I hope you are not the Joker, of whom I just spoke.
Cuz I'm Batman, I will take you away.
I will be the person who saves the day.
Hopefully you will learn a lesson,
about evil; where you shouldn't be messin'.
I am about to blast you to who knows where.
I don't even know because I don't care.
So go away now if you want to be spared.
Why aren't you saying a thing to me?
You've probably been scared right up a tree.
Because I didn't have another word to rhyme.
Oh look, just look at the time.
It's getting dark, and that's when the bats come out.
Hopefully you know what this is about.
SO. A, b, c, d, e, f, g.
Joker is my enemy.
Stick a bat-gun up his nose,
Pull the trigger, there he goes.
A, b, c, d, e, f, g.
Joker was my enemy.
I hope you are ready to run.
Catching you is going to be so much fun.
.....
Oh.. It's you Robin.

Friday, December 5 - "Sonnet"

When I go out to feel the summer breeze;

He surrounds and wraps me with his form.

I love it when he travels through the trees;

His grace is like a deer before a storm.

I love the petals flowing through his robe;

The ferns and flowers dance inside his trail.

He travels far and wide around the globe;

And brings supporting help to boat and sail.

But knowing this there is a darker pain,

And like a howling wolf, he makes a sound.

He swirls the sky and flattens the terrain;

His powers make the toughest grasses drown.

And though his wrath is bound to make ones scared,

I love him still for people that he spared.

 

Thursday, December 4 - "Unrequited Love"

Ophelia and John were best friends, but now that they are older, things get quite different.

Ophelia secretly loves John. but John is not interested, because he feels like she is just a friend, and will always be that way. Ophelia is always asking John to take her out places, but rarely do they ever do anything together. The relationship is dramatically different than it once was when they were kids.

Ophelia begs out to John. John turns his back; feeling a little sorry for her.

Unrequited love is a terrible thing to experience. Try not to have your heart broken.

Unrequited love

 

 

Tuesday, December 2 - "Top Secret"

I wasn't going back to sleep this snow day. My husband is at work for the CTU, but I could swear I heard him talking with someone. I wondered who this person was listening, and then the unthinkable! I heard my husband giving top secret information to this mystery person.
"The State of this Country is worse than you thought" He spoke.
"Take these files, I will see you in the next hour."
The conversation ended.

I was deeply shocked, until I realized I was in a dream.

Then I woke up.

THE END.

Friday, November 21 - "Ekphrasis"

 

 

A metal girl stands alone in a garden,

and her head tilts to the wonders of the natural world.

She cannot move, for she has no feet.

Her dress is set in the ground.

So she stands there, waiting,

for nature to come to her.

Rain, snow, storms, and hail.

If it weren't for the little birds that come every year,

to bring her joy and understanding of life. 

The little metal girl would have stood there hopeless,

awaiting the day she would go back to the ground.

But the birds do come.

They make her happy.

She wants to fly with them, become one with them.

So she brings food for them, to make them happy.

She cannot move, but she knows how big the world is.

But the garden is where she will be,

and will ever want to be.

 

she dreams of being made flesh and blood.

Thursday, November 20 - "Emotions"

What do emotions fight about? it's obvious really, almost anything that changes a person's life, bad or good. In the case of a little girl, it is complicated and uncertain.

Joy wants her to be happy and be optimistic about new situations.
Fear believes she should be afraid of the new surroundings
Anger wants her to be mad about getting taken away from her old life
Sadness lets the girl mope around in her room.
Disgust wants her to dislike the new kids for their disgusting habits.


Right now these voices are arguing about the new school. Joy is saying to everyone that this will be exciting! Anger hated that remark and pushed for the girl to stomp around the classes. Fear said that the girl would get in trouble for doing that. Sadness misses the girl's old friends. Disgust found out that there was a kid who ate paper.

They finally settled this by letting Joy take control, even though Anger was mad about it, Fear was afraid of it, and so on.
So the little girl was optimistic about her school day.

Tuesday, November 18 - "Treason and Historical Fiction"

In a far away land called Robindo, There was a large trading company set up by the humans. These humans set up the native robots as guards to maintain and defend the company. They thought it was great, for a while.

The native robots became concerned that the humans were bringing their religion to Robindo, and that they planned to reprogram the robots to follow the humans' religion. They also felt that the humans were losing touch with the robots. There was a new policy made by the humans to take control of a Robindan state when a master machine broke down without a replacement.

What really broke the last straw was when the native Robindans figured out the new method of how the humans cleaned laser guns. They used pig fat! This was really offensive to the native robots because pigs were considered unclean animals.

This was the beginning of a rebellion.

It was a bloody and oily massacre the robots took over the humans and killed the officers. The guard bots, however, had rules under these humans and did not want to kill them. So butcher bots were hired from the markets to kill all humans. Hundreds of men, women, and children were brutally killed.

This did not last long before the humans began to overpower the robots again. Robindo was back under human control, and anyone who still wanted to rebel was killed in the most horrific way possible. The Robindans would be dismantled and scrapped, to go to a metal recycling plant.

The rebellion caused the humans to dissolve the company, and the humans now had direct control over Robindo.

The (Horrible) End.     

Does this sound Familiar???

Monday, November 17 - "Found Poem"

Slow, stone hands looked out of shape and bent.
A gray-black cowboy slipped over his eyes.
Standing before us, he said in a voice that I could barely hear.
"Give it your best."
We got at it, but all the shots broke up.
Glued to time; right in front of a kid.
What was it?
I was determined to beat the man.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted it.
My finish was fantastic,
and I was grinning for the first time all day.

Friday, November 14 - "Berlin Wall"

There were so many things that the people from the other side never took for granted. My brother for example, had never seen so many new things on his side before the wall was torn down. In fact, His side of the wall was misery without me, and it was misery for me without him, because I couldn't bear to have him away. People have died trying to get over.

But the wall is gone now, we chipped it away and knocked it over piece by piece. I can't believe how much taller he has grown. It makes me feel short. After twenty years, people who had been separated unite with their loved ones, as in my case. The people from the east side flood in. They have never even seen a fresh fruit such as an orange!

The Berlin wall is gone, the barriers between us are broken. We are united again.

Thursday, November 13 - "Macabre art"

Painful suffering, crowded and noisy.
Starvation thrives in the wet, cold world.
They look at the lights above for hope,
Men, women, and children, abused.
Never to see their home again.
Barely fed, continuous pain.
Trauma flows in their time.

The deadly fog is closing in.

With darkness falling fast, the night growing cold.
They think of their star; millions of years old.
That was struck down the way the people were.

A new star is born.
Death to the hated.

Wednesday, November 12 - "The Haunted house"

The house in the forest should not be entered. The door is scarred with marks of a thousand white daggers. Like lions, the creatures there easily crush the bones of their victims.

A few weeks ago, a man of twenty five entered this house, to discover the treasures hidden within the walls. Despite the stories he has heard, this man was eager to get out with precious worldly objects. He searched the hallways and rooms, and found nothing.

He thought he was going mad when a dark, slithering figure rose upon him like a cobra, while hearing the strangest of footsteps. The beast with a thousand white daggers had found him in the topmost floor.  It looked like a woman, but she was nothing like a woman. For the beast had large, hawk like eyes, and a gaping mouth like that of a crocodile.

 The creature sent her minions, minions that could be confused for wolf and dragon hybrids, a truly foul pack of them too. Their white fur and long, wispy tails could be confused for clouds in the night. but the thousand white daggers were not something to be messed with.

 Soon the man was devoured, the daggers soaked; drenched, in the blood of their victim.
The beast headed back to the attic, awaiting another poor soul to enter.
There was no treasure after all, except for the money left from a loved one's death.

Friday, November 7 - "Ooh, That's Creepy!"

Tick tock, tick tock.
Like the beating of someone's heart, the clock will eventually die.
There was a man of old age, making watches by hand;
fascinated by the concept of time.
But he didn't enjoy making watches.
Tick tock, tick tock. Someone appeared in his room;
silently slithering across the floor like a serpent preying on a rat.
The old man continued his work.
Suddenly, the watch slipped out of the old man's grasp, and dropped to the floor.
Trinkets and parts scattered about as it broke, never to be repaired,
because the old man fell from his chair.
Silently the someone, who was now looking over the chair, takes the old man by the hand,
and leads him away from his watch making room.
Tick tock, then the clock stopped.
Like a heartbeat slowly fading,
The watchmaker's time had died.

Friday, Halloween - "The Bard's Ghost"

During the day, Zekku the bard would play his lute as the bartender serves the commoners. Zekku was not liked that much because he just so happened to be a dragon, A type of dragon that walks upon its hind legs. He was often ordered to squish the insects that infested the tavern, and Zekku did not like that.

It was night time, and Zekku the dragon rose from his seat to polish the tables. But where was everyone? He looked around, and everyone seemed to have vanished.

“Hello?” Zekku called out as he paced around the room.

Just then, as Zekku was pacing, he felt something trip him over! But there was nobody around. He got back up to his clawed feet, dusting himself off. Then he heard a faint chuckle.

“Who is there?” Zekku called angrily. Spreading his wings and getting ready to fly up to the rafters, he leaped, but something pushed him down.

Zekku then remembered the tavern is haunted.

“I know you are there, ghost! Show yourself!”

The ghost appeared in front of Zekku, with a big, mischievous grin.

“Hello Zekku, I was the one who broke your lute strings a week ago! I am Charlie, prankster ghost of this tavern! Do you wish to join me?”

Zekku thought about it a bit. He hated squishing the insects and cleaning the floors. He only wanted to play his music in peace.

“I will do it.” Zekku agreed.

So the next day, Zekku was hiding up near the ceiling, getting ready to prank. He took his cup of hot water, and poured it on the bartender, drop by drop.

“Is there a leak in our roof?” The bartender wondered. He looked outside to see there was no rain. And the roof was in good condition.

Zekku then poured all of the hot water on the bartender, While Charlie the ghost handed Zekku more water. The bartender was furious. So Zekku took Charlie’s ghostly hand and they flew straight through the ceiling!

 It was all tricks and no treat for the workers at the tavern.

They kept doing this without being caught once. And they cheesily flew off into the sunset.

Happy Halloween.

Tuesday, October 28 - "Sir, your microwave is broken."

One awkward day in an awkward place called the Hardin Valley auditorium, an awkward square creature with square pants and a water helmet waits for the show.

The play was titled "Sir, your microwave is broken." and SpongeBob Squarepants is playing the unfortunate role of the one whose microwave broke.

All the students of HVA were watching as SpongeBob said his lines. "Oh no! where will I get another microwave?" that was pretty much the most major part of his role. After the play was over, SpongeBob decided to use the microwave to cook up some Krabby patties, because there was not a grill. He put the patties on a plate and set them on High for three minutes. There was one small problem. The plate was metal, and the microwave really broke this time! SpongeBob called Mr. Krabs all the way down under the ocean for help. He just replied "SpongeBob, Your microwave is broken."

This was all on stage as well, so the students wanted to believe it was a part of the play. It really happened, and everyone cheered as SpongeBob left the stage.

That broken microwave however, had a dark secret. Once it broke, it released a large amount of warp particles into the universe, a particle so strong, that it bends time and space randomly.

those particles ended up reversing the world's oceans and landmasses, What was the Americas is now an ocean, and what was once the rest of the continents are now flooded with water. The Atlantic ocean was now the Atlantic mountain range.

SpongeBob made a big mistake in putting the metal plate in the microwave, now the world needs to be saved!

So SpongeBob devised a plan, he would break another microwave to save the earth!

and it worked! HVA was flooded, but it worked! and better still, School was out for the rest of the month due to the global inversion!

Yay for warp particles.

Monday, October 27 - "Fairy Tale Name Poem"

G                   good natured
O                   one track mind
L                    lively
D                   determined
I                     impulsive
L                    loopy
O                   on another world
C                   careless thoughts
K                   kind hearted
S                    simple in life

Friday, October 24 - "X Marks the Spot"

I was a lazy pirate who wanted the treasure without the work. Captain Shavedbeard, who had no beard at all, always liked my only crewmate. His name was ARRRRRthur. ARRRRRthur had always loved to get things done, and since the treasure map was retrieved from a larger rival ship, Captain Shavedbeard called upon ARRRRRthur for everything. I just sat in my room looking at the ceiling boards.

Well, that treasure map did lead us somewhere, but it wasn't the X we were looking for.

Captain made me do all the nothing, while ARRRRRthur dug out the X. We found a huge hulking treasure chest, trapped in the smallest replica of a really large bottle. So I smashed it, which was about the only thing I did. Inside was a yellow thing, the yellow thing was so thinglike, that I couldn't make out its texture, or definite shape. I was around twenty feet away at that moment.

"It's.... a.. Stick of butter????" ARRRRRthur was shocked. Butter was worth almost the exact same amount as gold! or even more exact!

So as I continued heading back to the ship, I noticed that we had way too many pancakes. We don't like pancakes, because they are too bland without chocolate.

Unfortunately, I decided to use the butter as a substitute for chocolate. Not knowing that it tasted as good as it was worth. Us three were chowing down on the new pancakes, wondering what made them taste so good.

"Butter!" I shouted, as I went to my room.

So we did have to make our own kind of butter, that was worth as much gold through lies and tricks. "I can't believe it's not butter!" Captain Shavedbeard said to ARRRRRthur and me. That's how our favorite butter substitute came to being.

Then we were rich. and stopped being pirates.

The End.

Thursday, October 23 - "Pun Off"

Mark and Philip were talking about the worst superhero puns that were ever made, then they had this grand idea.

"Hey! I bet I could come up with a worse pun than you!" Philip said excitedly.
"No way! You wouldn't even last one minute on my bad pun turf!" Mark replied.

So it began. thousands of horrible puns, in the middle of the park.

Mark: "Do you want a peace of me Hippie?"
Philip: "I would axe you a question but unfortunately we aren't allowed to carry weapons here."
Mark: "What's the dill man?"
Philip: "Pickled cucumbers, that's what."
Mark: "I'm riding solo now."
Philip: "Alright but only if you knew who shot first."

"Philip, that was pretty good!"

It went on and on, until they stopped at a phone booth.

"Hey! how about we do a prank call?" Philip asked with a crazy grin.
"Okay, who shall we make the call to?" Mark asked. He was wondering what pun would be used next.

Philip called the pizza place, brainstorming some punny names.

"Hey, is there a guy with the last name Dover here?"

The pizza guy replied with a question. "Dover who?"

"Mr. Ben Dover!"

He hung up, leaving the pizza guy to call out "Ben Dover" to the entire store.



  "Hey Philip, bear in mind that prank calls can get you in trouble."
"WHAT?! There's a bear in my head??"

And the two dudes walked back to their houses laughing; thinking about how un-horrible the first few puns were, and how they would be doing it tomorrow.

Link to not so bad puns

Tuesday, October 21 - "Deja Vu"

Caroline studied the old man carefully. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something about him reminded her of someone else. But who?

Maybe it was his lack of hair, his glasses? Maybe Caroline has seen him in a dream before, but she didn't remember it if she did dream him. She had to ask. Caroline walked up to the old, old man, and asked him if she had seen him before.
"If we had met I wouldn't have remembered you anyway." The man replied. He walked off in a grumpy fashion, and that triggered Caroline's memory.

And then it was gone. For a brief two seconds she remembered who the strange old man was, and everything came together, and then it left!

How frustrating! Caroline only had one memory left in her head about that man, and it was the fact that he was carrying some sort of hi-tech device or something. That certain something, in fact, was the main reason for Caroline's Deja Vu. So Caroline went back to doing what she did best, working at the restaurant with overly priced meals. Never again to know who that old man was, she just carried on with her job.

Let's all be thankful there is no such thing as Deja Vu lasers... at least not yet.

Thursday, October 16 - "Rain"

The day the earth stood soggy.

Log number 213, It has been raining more than usual these past few minutes, but I know it will make all the difference to life and death of humankind. We beat a world record of rainfall today, well past the rainfall of Noah's time. but it strangely isn't flooding the earth. It is, however, making the ground very soggy and unable to be walked on. Soon our roads will go under the dirt, then the parking lots, then our homes! If only the captain of the last ship on earth would let me on.

Log number 237, I am sinking into the mud, not much time now until the whole earth is completely muddy. I have also figured out why the rain continues on and on. The aliens of a faraway planet were dissatisfied with our behavior, and have made rain clouds cover the earth for eternity.
I need to find a way to escape this- blrblblrblblrblblrbl.....


Log number 473, I have been rescued by the last ship to have left Earth. They came back to save me. Also, I miscounted the log number, it should have been 238.

Log number 240, I was dropped off on a nice, dry planet. I will be much happier here. The ship left, but the crew said they would be back for me later. Now if only I could find some water..

Log number... I can't keep track. It hasn't rained at all! now I believe I must die here. Good rain, I miss you.

Wednesday, October 15 - "I remember when..."

I remember when I died, it was the fourth time this week.
It was like one of those stupid video game tutorials that I never pay attention to. I was like, "Eh, I can figure this out all by myself.". So what if I died? The machine just brings me back to life anyway.
Although, I did come back with two left hands, and an extra tooth.
I will just go get the doctor to fix that... 


Another fine day off on the couch. I just need some soda.
But, I don't feel like getting one myself. I will just ask my best friend..
"I have seen scarier." I said as I finished my fortieth can of soda.
Now.. If only my best friend could get me a drink?

I drew this picture of me. My friends say it looks like a four year old drew it. Why do they judge such great artistic skill? I know how to draw stickmen!

Well, as time goes by I know one thing...

Tomorrow is another wacko day on the job. I like that.

Friday, October 10 - "Pet Peeve"

One day there was this person doing her job and she comes across a billboard sign that states "Their here! Get the new hot dog burger today!". She was furious! Why can't people learn how to use the grammar they were taught properly? So she called the guys who made the ads to tear it down and redo the whole thing the right way. "Their is possessive!" She nagged the sign makers. "Can't you tell the difference between they're and their?"

So the sign makers remade the ad, but this time they used "T-h-e-r-e". The young lady didn't get to see the mistake, because she was late for work. I bet you that when she came back, she taught those ad makers a lesson, in the form of... Lessons.

Well, it's a wonder how the lady didn't become a grammar teacher.

The End

Tuesday, October 7 - "The Flip Side"

I admit it, I am addicted.
I cannot walk away for 30 minutes.
I tried to limit myself but I went too far,
Playing all day until the moon and stars.

Now it is gone for a week or two,
it left me completely bored, I have nothing to do now.
He said it was my mouth that started it all
When I opened it, the words started to fall.

Now I am in my room on the bed.
Lost inside my head, about feelings of anger and dread.



----FLIP SIDE----


I told you to get off, but your mouth keeps running.
You think it's a joke, but no, it isn't funny.
Limiting yourself didn't work so far,
You were playing all day until the moon and stars.

I am taking it away, for a week or two.
Now you have to find some other things to do.
It was your mouth that started it all.
You would've had it longer if those words didn't fall.

Now she is in her room, because I sent her there.
I only did it because I cared.

Monday, October 6 - "Persona Poetry"

I pet the cats, and get a coke,
I go to the office and hope nothing broke.

I work all day, taking breaks only to eat.
The program is fine, The deadline should be beat.
The little black cat is looking out the window,
"Sweet!" I call out, as a storm starts to blow.

Day 4765, I am still here working.
Waiting for my wife to be done with her work too.
The kids are home, I see them coming.
Out in the rain, wearing their school blue.

It's six on the clock, and my work day is closing.
I save the code, and then I sing.
I sing random things, your mother's father's best friend's monkey's squirrel would be disturbed too.

I go to the family room and sit on the couch.
There's a dead guy on the TV, Ouch.

 

Thursday, October 2 - "The Frog Prince"

There once was a beautiful princess who loved to go through the woods. One day, she came across a frog while she sat near the pond. The frog leaped out in excitement. "A princess, finally!" The frog jumped upon the princess' lap, and told her the story of why he was transformed into a frog. The princess knew the story of how frogs can sometimes be princes. "Oh! I just have to kiss you to turn you back to normal!" She gave the frog a kiss, and the princess turned into a frog but the prince was back to normal. "Let us try that again." said the prince. They kissed again, and then the prince turned the princess to normal. The Princess was shocked. "Isn't it the princess' job to turn frogs to men?"
Well they never knew the answer, because they were deeply in love.

And they had tadpoles together.

The end.

Original story

Wednesday, October 1 - "Fairy Tale Characters"

Why do you huff and puff all around
just to blow a poor pig's house down?
Big and bad, they call as a name,
it brought you nothing but coldhearted shame.
So you turned to the first you could see,
the pigs building houses, those little three.

They turned you this way,
"Don't do it!" they say.
Your breath like whirlwinds doesn't stop.



The last house you see, was planned by the three,
to be the strongest dwelling around.
You huffed, and puffed, but you couldn't knock it down.
You didn't want to become what they named you.

Stop the huffing,
stop the puffing.
With sticks and stones,
they break your bones.

The words will no longer harm you.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Little_Pigs

Thursday, September 25 - "Big Mistake"

One day in school, there was a girl named Clara, and she was mad. It was during math class in the eighth grade. Everyone was stressing her out, and she snapped. Threats went flying, insults were all over the place, even a few swears fell out of Clara's mouth. This was a BIG mistake. The teacher called her parents, and she lost all internet privileges, and what's worse was that she had a whole day of in school suspension! Clara had to be bored the entire day. She sat there, thinking about what happened, and about all of the make-up work in front of her. She would daydream about what she would do when her punishment was over with, and thought about how to prevent this from happening again.

Clara is a good girl, even though she procrastinates, has a short temper, and a history of lying, bad grades, and other things like that. She knows now not to let it happen again.

Wednesday, September 24 - "Personal Quality"

I would believe the best quality I have would be my intelligence. I can help people with their studies, and help them get better grades in the long run, even though I cannot explain too well, I try to help my friends understand by using smaller words. The only thing I am not that good at is Mathematics, but Science is my strong point. I can tell you all the birds I know, and what flint rocks look like. I can tell you how many protons make up a carbon atom. Sometimes, it is not that great to be as smart as me, my intelligence ironically derives from my autism. It makes me socially awkward. I don't get along with many people my age, but tend to be best friends with adults, and many people older than me. Being smart helps people in the long run, I like to help other people because I feel it will help me make friends and do some good.

Tuesday, September 23 - "Strange Fruit"

That fruit you see over there, my friend, is known as a dragonfruit. It smells like flaming breath, and tastes like the divine flavor of vanilla ice cream. You can even see so by looking at the inside! It is grown in a place where people believe the dragons have blessed that land for growing their delicious fruit, a land where dragons and humans coexist! This place, named Kawikarunikai, is found nowhere on this earth, for it is lost, somewhere between Florida and the Bahamas. There used to be several kinds of dragonfruit. There was mint chocolate chip, cookies and cream, peanut butter, chocolate, and even rocky road! The only one that made it to this day was the vanilla, but it goes great with chocolate syrup, or anything else that tastes good with vanilla. The dragons told these people to take good care of the flavor. But humans are humans. Based off of this fiery scented luxury food after it was lost, we began using milk, and flavoring from the remaining fruits, salt, and ice, to make something that tasted just like the kind they had before! Kids and adults all around the world are enjoying this new dessert, but never gave thanks to the dragons. Long forgotten, the dragonfruit was cursed to taste like any regular fruit, and now nobody eats it, because the dragons also raised the price tags in all the American stores. The short story of the overly priced dragonfruit, is now the epic tale of what it was, and should be again.

Monday, September 15 - "What the deuce?"

The lady in red is the only beautiful figure in the picture, I believe the story behind the painting La Mariee is about some lady who felt she was surrounded by a bunch of weirdos. They try to be her friend, but she looks away, facing toward us while the rest see her beauty. She thinks the violin player looks like a goat faced freak, and yet others like mindless animals, like fish and chickens. There is still one who wanders around, trying to make her even better looking, handing her white flowers and admiring the red cloak as she faces out of her blue, two-dimensional world. The striking colored woman is probably looking at us, because she wants to know what it is like to have a normal life.

Thursday, September 11 - "Music Critic"

The song "Pumped up Kicks" is a great song because it makes auto tune sound better, the lyrics and melody match and make everything sound amazing. I liked the part of the bridge where there was whistling, it sounded happy, but the song sounds like its about someone about to shoot somebody.
The background music ties in with the melody to make the song sound happy and yet somewhat annoyed at the same time. The synthesizers made the song have more "spunk".

Overall I give the song 4.5 stars, because there does need to be a little more melody at the beginning. The beginning sounded more boring than the rest.

Tuesday, September 9 - "Film Review"

Hugo was an interesting movie, about a kid who hangs from a clock thinking about what the older man said to him about avoiding scary sideways faces. This kid falls from the clock once it hit 6:00, and encounters a scary sideways face speaking in the sideways language of the left handed weasel. He must face his fears and run back to his friend, the older man, and ask him how to get rid of them.
He finds a way to destroy them by standing on one leg, right hand on left elbow, raising his left hand up and making bird sounds. They get destroyed and he runs back to the castle in the upper left where the super thin crescent moon rises.

I give the story 4 stars, because it was so bad, that it was hilarious!

Monday, September 8 - "America, Fairyville?"

Once upon a time, which is actually more like today, There was a fairy named Felicia.
Felicia was loved by children all over the city, but hunted by adults, who wanted to prove fairies exist. she would tell the children, "Hey kids! Get yourselves over here and hide me from your parents!" The kids obeyed, because if they did they will get rewarded, usually with some magic dust that will grant whatever wish they wished if they threw it on their faces, it would burn they eyes, but hey! The kids get what they want!

One day, Felicia ran into a teenager at his school, he sorta freaked out, but since teenagers were not adults or children, Felicia didn't know what to do. She took out a big, chocolate chip cookie from her infinite bottomless bag of magic, and handed it to the tall, lanky teen. They became best friends, but then, as he was driving home from school, they got into a car wreck. Felicia the fairy used her magic dust to wish the teenage boy healed, as she was healing her friend, the police came and saw her in the back seat, a small creature with wings. The cops were also fairy hunters part time, so they handcuffed her so that she couldn't throw magic dust on her face and wish herself free.

Felicia was in a small, fairy proof bird cage, but guess who came to her rescue? the children, who got her message from her tiny cell phone. Kids flooded in to the police station, and took the bird cage, and Felicia with it, and handed her over to the teenage boy, they all got one wish, the teen wished for two more wishes of course, he got himself a pretty girl and another one of those tasty magic cookies,
and the children wished that Felicia would never get caught again, because kids are nice.

That wish just made her invisible though, nobody can see fairies if they physically cannot be seen. If you happen to come across a tiny cell phone though, that's Felicia's, she lost it in the police station. Felicia will be happy to pick it up.

Friday, September 5 - "Aliens in Egypt"

1323 BC, in the land of ancient Egypt, mysterious things were happening.
It was the final year which King Tut ruled. The Pharaoh heard a voice in his head, of what the Ancient Egyptians interpreted as the god Amun, whom Tut restored worship of. They couldn't be more wrong. The aliens from a far away star have come to tell Tut that he would soon die, because they have been watching.
Tut was a young king, he was Pharaoh for around 10 years now, and started his reign at age 9. Too young to die, but it did happen. The aliens were the only ones to truly know how he died, but they told me. Tut's workers were finishing a restoration project, and the young Pharaoh went to see it up close. he tripped and fell, breaking his left leg. It got infected and he died. The aliens told him, but he was not cautious enough.

Thursday, September 4 - "Historical Accuracy"

New York, 1932, in a time when the world was in an economic depression. The just completed Empire State building was seen by all, and what else was seen faded away from history... Until now.
back in 1932, unemployment was high, many lived in their cars, and gasoline costs 10 cents. A regular sad day. It was too quiet, people were hovering over the radio, listening to the news. A tall red being was spotted on top of the Empire State building just a few minutes ago, they believe it was from Mars. People began to panic, running around in circles like chickens with their heads cut off. They would then hide, in the old vehicles and in the buildings, as they tuned in to the radio to hear its every move. The tall and slender creature has long arms with two sharp claws on each hand, long legs, mars-red scales, and pitch black eyes. That was what one of the witnesses saw. They could only stop and watch as it crawled in front of the buildings where they hid. Sniffing the air twice, the alien then left, and never came back. Leaving no trace, it was soon forgotten.

Wednesday, September 3 - "Article"

Californarnia becomes the first state to ban plastic bags.

In Californarnia, there was one question asked by all traders, and there was always an issue with it. “Paper or plastic?”. That will no longer be an issue in Californarnia, because they soon plan to burn all plastic bags they find.

 

On Friday, a bill was passed by the head wizards to burn all plastic bags with fireballs and dragon fire. They could no longer be seen at apothecaries, trader’s markets, or liquor stores, or the wizards will come with trained dragons and burn the stores. Many of the towns and cities in Californarnia have already banned plastic bags, including San Franangeles, Los Cisco, and Seattle.

The wizards will become “Plastic burners” beginning July 1, 15. And will create new jobs for dragons, who are hoarding gold because of their unemployment. In saying that, Californarnia is an expensive place, and getting rid of plastic bags will only improve the economy, because there will be no more taxes on plastic bags.

 

Many people support the ban on plastic in Californarnia. Including the UFCW, or The United Fairies of Californarnia Workers. They believe the gold should be used for training workers and provide homes for fairies all over Californarnia, instead of being spent on plastic.

The elves also approve of this ban, they say it is dangerous to their environment and it’s killing off the animals that call their forest home. They also say that the dwarves litter too many plastic bags.

Taking the point of view of the dwarves, they said they didn’t care about a ban on plastic bags, because they say they are neutral on the subject, their viewpoint doesn’t matter anyway.

 

Burning of plastic bags in Californarnia begins on July 1, 15.